Nusa Ceningan/Nusa Lembongan '16

I have been yearning to go to Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan since the first time I learnt of the two islands. Imagine my happiness when I got to do just that. Lembongan and Ceningan are the kind of places that I am uncertain if I should and/or want to share about. There is a part of me that wants to tell everyone who would listen about this perfect slice of paradise, and the other part of me wants to selfishly keep it all to myself and do everything I possibly can to stop everyone else from going there.

The Nusas are tiny islands off the southeast coast of Bali, and are of completely different worlds from their big sister. They are often preferred by people who seek refuge from the rambunctious crowds of Bali's more popular spots. The rhythm of daily activities moves ever so slowly - there is no need to rush, and no need to worry. I was enamored with the simplicity of the life the locals lead. Even a gas station cannot be found on the island - only rows of bottled gasoline are on sale by the street side. When we arrived at the central of Lembongan that is Jungutbatu, I was expecting a cluster of shops and bars, but instead what welcomed us was simply a string of little restaurants, stalls, and homes that were also converted into mini marts.

Apart from being fishermen, the locals make ends meet by being seaweed farmers - working at green patches of seaweed fields in the shallow waters of Lembongan and Ceningan. Everywhere you go, you will see bundles of them, varying in different shades of green, drying under the sun. As we explored the back roads of the islands, local women and children were spotted selling seashells and handmade souvenirs. Some may regard the two islands as 'uncivilized' due to their lack of modernization and development, but to me it is just the most peaceful and relaxing place you could wish for - it is the perfect escape for some body, soul, and mind cleansing.

As in the rest of Bali, the people of Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan are devout Hindus. Beautifully and intricately decorated temples can be abundantly observed all around the islands. Traditions and religious ceremonies seem to be part of their everyday life, and these colorful and lively events will definitely be seen (and heard as they can be rather loud) at least once during your stay. I very much enjoyed watching the locals walk around barefoot, clad in their multi-colored traditional wear, with flowers braided into their hair.

My husband and I spent a total of five days over there, and it was just enough time for us to explore the whole of the two islands.

Getting there

My husband and I opted to go via Scoot Fast Cruise as we had read many good things about their services prior to our trip. Our boat transfer tickets were purchased a day before at one of the tourist information kiosks we stumbled upon whilst exploring the central of Sanur. For a one way trip to Nusa Lembongan, an open one way trip to Gili Trawangan, inclusive of hotel transfers, we paid 500,000rp (about RM150) each - a pretty fair deal if I do say so. We were picked up across from our hotel at around nine in the morning, and were first taken to Scoot Cruise's main office to check ourselves in. At the Sanur Jetty, we were given a short briefing by Scoot Cruises' owner regarding on board safety and also the history of the islands before we were allowed to board our boat. Our journey began at 10.30AM, and took a mere half an hour. Despite so, it felt like the longest boat ride that I have ever experienced. Unfortunately for us, the sea currents were ridiculously rough, and had caused more than half the boat to be sea sick. One poor boy was vomiting non-stop throughout the whole journey.

As we arrived at Jungutbatu and disembarked our boat, we were separated into different pick-up trucks according to our respective accommodations and where they were located. My husband and I had chosen to stay in Nusa Ceningan, which is linked to Nusa Lembongan via a gorgeous yellow hang bridge. Since the bridge isn't accessible by pick-up trucks (it is very narrow - only wide enough for scooters), we were dropped on the Lembongan side of the bridge, and continued our journey on foot. From here on, you have a choice of making arrangements with your hotel to pick you up, or rent a scooter from the locals. In our case, we were elated to walk to our hotel as it allowed us to breathe in every inch of beauty the island had to offer at our own pace.

Where we stayed

We stayed at Twilight Huts, Nusa Ceningan. It is located right at Dream Point, hence we were spoiled with an ethereal view of the wide blue ocean. There are only five huts altogether in their premises which is nice as it gives off a very private and intimate feel. Our hut was fairly basic but more than adequate - it came equipped with a queen-sized bed, air-conditioner and fan, a dressing table, an outdoor bathroom (always a win for us!) that has both cold and hot water (though they only have salt water, but it's just the way it is on the islands so it didn't really bother us). Outside, there was a spacious porch with a coffee table and chairs where we spent quite some time kicking back whilst enjoying numerous glasses of milkshakes. The only drawback for me was that the room was poorly lit.

Our stay at the hotel came with complimentary breakfasts consisting of eggs cooked in our choice, toasts, fruits, coffee/tea, and orange juice which we like to enjoy overlooking the ocean. They also have other choices of (non-complimentary) breakfasts, varying from western to Indonesian, to choose from if you prefer something different. For muslim visitors, unfortunately they do not serve halal food. With the exception of breakfast, my husband and I always choose to eat elsewhere for both lunch and dinner.

A point that I have to add is that the pool and restaurant closes at 9.30PM as that is when all the workers head home for the night. Overall, we enjoyed our stay at Twilight Huts - great people, great place, great hospitality. 

Transportation

Scooters are the main form of transport around both islands, and they are widely available for rent. We rented ours directly from our hotel for 80,000rp a day. The roads are kind of rough and full of potholes though, especially in Ceningan as most of them have not been paved - but it really just needs a matter of practice and getting used to. For those who are not comfortable with riding by themselves, willing locals are more than happy to transport you on the back of their scooter for a fee. If the scooter is a total no-no for you, you have the option of renting a golf buggy, a bicycle, or you could get around on foot.

Other than the basic pick-up trucks used by most of the hotels, there are virtually no cars on the islands. But I have heard that some of these hotels and restaurants on Lembongan offer free pick-up and drop-off services to and from your accommodation.

Do not be surprised if you are given a scooter with no license plate to rent. Almost all of the scooters on Lembongan and Ceningan are without them. Helmets are also only given when requested. The only people who can be seen wearing helmets while riding on scooters are tourists to be honest. Proves how carefree life is over there - I love it.

Things to do

Dream Beach

Dream beach is one of the most spectacular beaches on the whole of Nusa Lembongan. A picturesque narrow strip of fine white sand, complimented by a wide pool of clear turquoise water - it is the ideal place to unwind while witnessing the relentless force of the ocean. Boy, did it live up to it's name. My husband and I didn't think twice about jumping into the oncoming waves, surrendering ourselves to the water and letting it's buoyancy sustain and carry us. The strong currents and massive waves do not exactly make the beach a suitable place for swimming (especially for children and non-swimmers), but my husband and I had a wondrous time getting our butts kicked by the waves regardless. We went to a number of beaches during our stay, but we always end up going back to Dream Beach to swim.

If salt water isn't your thing, and you don't enjoy getting sand in your hair (what are you even doing on an island?!), you can instead soak your body in the infinity pool at Dream Beach Huts which overlooks the gorgeous coastline of Dream Beach for a small fee. 

Devil's Tears

Massive waves break onto narrow niches on a cliff, producing dramatic swashes with merciless, thundering sounds. Thin wisps of ocean spray dampen everything and everyone on the shore. Devil's Tears, aptly named for it's daunting showcase of Mother Nature's raw power, is violently beautiful. It is majestic, exhilarating, and menacing all at the same time. No picture or video can do this place justice. It was undoubtedly my most favorite attraction on the whole of the two islands. Turtles seem to favor the place as well as we recurrently saw a number of them imperially ducking and diving through the ferocious waves. I made my husband take me to this spot everyday whilst we were there. Devil's Tears is also an idyllic place to witness celestial sunsets.

Blue Lagoon

Imagine a location that is so beautiful it takes your breath away. There is such a place in Nusa Ceningan and that is the Blue Lagoon. When I first caught sight of it, I couldn't believe at how turquoise the water was. It is the picture perfect ideal of an island paradise.

As we explored the area on foot, we stumbled upon what used to be Blue Lagoon's cliff jumping point. Remnants of what looked like a cafe complete with rock stools, tables, and a run-down hut could be seen at the area. The overhanging ledge where people used to jump from still exists to this day. What could be seen missing was the ladder used to climb back up the cliff, and this is apparently to discourage people from still jumping. Cliff-jumping at Blue Lagoon is now prohibited due to a number of unsuspecting tourists being hurt in the act.

Zipline

The zipline attraction is still relatively new and is located near Ceningan point. Be amazed by the amazing views as you 'fly' across the lagoon. All it takes is just 90,000rp.

Mahana Point

Mahana Point is a tiny little bar nestled on a small cliff edge at Ceningan that has a perfect view of the surfers below. For you adrenaline junkies, you can hurl yourself off the bar's cliff top and into the sea - yes, the bar is also a cliff-jumping point. Unfortunately, my husband and I didn't get to jump because the currents were too rough at the time. We instead spent the evening drinking milkshakes, and hanging out with the locals, whilst watching the sun set gloriously. 

Snorkeling

There are tons of snorkeling/diving packages that are offered throughout the islands. My husband and I paid 500,000rp for a private boat to take us on a three-spot snorkeling tour. Our first stop was Gamat Bay. Contrary to it's name, there were no gamats (sea cucumber) in sight. However so, the waters were overflowing with corals and colorful fishes. Buuuut, the sea currents were at it again, swaying me here and there until I got seasick. Who gets seasick from snorkeling?! I persevered and continued snorkeling, but not before I puked all my breakfast out just after we arrived at our second stop, Coral Bay. The water was clear and calm here, and there were more to see and witness. With that said however, my favorite had to be our third and final stop, and that is Mangrove Point. We didn't stay long though as we saw a number of jellyfishes lingering around.

Mangrove Tour

We saw a number of 'mangrove tour' signs around the island, and thought - why not? We've never been on a mangrove tour. Tours can be organized in Jungutbatu, but it is cheaper if you make your way there yourself and arrange a deal with one of the boatmen on the spot. The tour is operated by having a sampan boat going around the mangrove forest where you will experience an extreme quietness,  a relaxing, and an almost magical atmosphere. As you slowly move deeper into the forest, you will be welcomed by the sound of birds singing a variety of different melodies. The mangrove forest is indeed a unique place that I enjoyed much more than I had expected to. 

Beach Hopping

Needless to say, the beaches at Lembongan and Ceningan are all captivating, and they each have their own charm. If you want somewhere secluded and quiet to watch the sunset, Sunset Beach is the place. If you're looking for something a little adventurous and lively like water sports, head to Jungutbatu Beach. Fancy some drinks by the beach? Mushroom Beach has an array of cafes and bars along it's stretch. Secret Beach is for those who wants to unwind by the waves without the disturbance of large crowds.

Jungutbatu

Jungutbatu is the main village, and the most developed area in Nusa Lembongan with multiple resorts, eating outfits, tour booking offices, and mini marts. It has the longest beach on the island, and is filled with moored boats from Bali's mainland - making it somewhat unsuitable for swimming and/or snorkeling. Jungutbatu is also the one and only place on both Lembongan and Ceningan where you will find an ATM (yes, there is only one of them) and a clinic if ever you need one. 

Panorama Point

We actually stumbled by this place by accident. Panoroma Point is nestled on the hill up from Jungutbatu where you can see a bird's eye view of the main beach with the copious amount of boats, the red topped buildings of the village, the greens of coconut trees, and of course the crystal clear water surrounding the island. It is a view that will forever be etched in my mind.

Watch locals fish and harvest seaweed

My husband and I spent one of our mornings in Ceningan doing just this. Watching them is indeed a unique experience. The locals use self-made rods, spears, and various types of nets to fish - none of those modern day fishing tools. If you enquire, the locals will be more than happy to share with you regarding the methods they use for fishing,  some fishing tips, and/or about their catch of the day. As for seaweed harvesting, where else are you going to be able to witness that? Not in my country. 

Explore the islands

This. Just explore both the islands beyond what's written on the map. We found some amazing and incredible places by taking paths that are less traveled, especially around Devil's Tears and Blue Lagoon. I can't stress enough on how much beauty the islands have to offer. Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan are just full of treasures - from magnificent landscapes, wonderful beaches, to lush jungles. The more we explored, and immersed ourselves in adventures and the outdoors, the more we were amazed.

Food

As I previously mentioned, the majority of people on both islands (and the whole of Bali) are Hindu, hence finding halal food was close to impossible. When I was doing my research regarding halal food in Nusa Lembongan, and Nusa Ceningan, I found zero information. I thought that we would have to only feast on seafood and vegetarian delicacies (and I don't eat veggies) during our stay, but thank goodness we had stumbled upon a stall selling halal food in Nusa Lembongan.

They served the usual Indonesian food like bakso, mee ayam, ayam penyet (my favorite!) and such. I ate their ayam penyet every single day while we were there. Delicious, and cheap. We had asked them if there were any other stalls or restaurants that served halal food, and according to them there's only one other stall which sells satay. We only got to eat at Warung Madura during our second last day because they seemed to always be closed when we dropped by. They also had bakso, and mixed rice at this stall. We opted for their satay which was served with white rice. It was simple, but very pleasing to the taste - we even ordered an extra portion to be shared. According to them as well, there were no other halal restaurants and/or stalls around. 

I can't tell you where exactly the two places are as I don't know the name of the street where they are located, but you will find these two places on the way to Mushroom Beach.

I advise that you stock up on instant noodles and a variety of snacks before heading to Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan. Pop Mie (Indonesia's Maggi) can be easily found on both islands - this is what we survived on when we were too tired to head out for dinner.

Traveling Tips

• Pack light. It would be tough to carry or drag bulky luggages especially since scooters are the main form of transportation. Overpacking will only cause you more trouble than do you good. During our ten-day trip, I had only packed three days worth of clothes, two pajamas, swimming attire, undies, and a pair of shoes. Laundry services can be easily found on the island, but if you are on a budget like us, you can just get a small pack of laundry detergent and hand-wash the clothes yourself. Anyways, we practically lived in our swimming attires so we didn't need that many clothes.
• Make acquaintances with both the locals and the tourists. A fundamental part of the travel experience is meeting new people, discovering different cultures, and sharing adventures with others along the way. My husband is the friendly type and would struck a conversation with everyone and anyone, and that got us making a bunch of friends. We got to know how the locals live on a more personal level, trade traveling tips with a bunch of Australians and Canadians, and we spent an entire evening with two moviemakers from Czech Republic talking about everything under the sun. 
• Everything on Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan closes early. Although they don't have specific closing times, most restaurants and stalls close between 9 to 10PM. It is very quiet at night and there is basically no nightlife on the two islands.
• Bring enough cash for the duration of your stay. As mentioned, there is only one ATM on Nusa Lembongan and it is known to sometimes be out of order. The large resorts accept credit cards, but almost all the other places operate on a cash only basis.
• Don't wait to explore Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan. There are already some resorts and developments, but they haven't taken over the place yet. Everything still has an authentic and down to earth feel. Tourism is growing fast however, and they are building a number of big resorts at the moment. So book your tickets now before they start to lose their charm!

Sanur, Kuta, Jimbaran '16

We didn't have as much time to plan for this trip as opposed to our previous ones. My husband was stationed in Perak for work, and we didn't know when that project of his was going to end or if he could even get any time off from work. Hence, everything was planned and booked just a mere week before the trip. This is highly not recommended folks, because last minute bookings = more money spent. We had a pretty tough time trying to get fair priced airfares, but with a little tweak of plans and itinerary, we managed to get tickets that were still within our budget. Finding places to stay wasn't as difficult - as a matter of fact, we were spoilt for choice.

And thus began another #hfzimntrvls adventure.

8th May 2016
We only had a couple of hours that morning to pack, print our bookings, prepare ten days worth of food for our bubba, change our ringgits to rupiahs, and attend a wedding before our four o'clock flight. There were just so much to do, and so little time!!! Praise the Lord, we managed to get everything done, and still be on time for our flight (well, barely to be honest).

We smothered our little bubba with bear hugs and wet kisses, and said our goodbyes. Arrived at the airport and checked in just in time before the doors closed (/phew). We had to change our money at the airport as we didn't get the chance to do it earlier. If you can avoid doing so, avoid it. You can get more money for less at almost any other money changers outside of the airport. I personally do not like to carry too much cash with me for security reasons, hence I also activated my ATM card for overseas use prior to boarding my flight.

First stop - Bali! The journey took three hours, and the two of us arrived at Ngurah Rai Airport via Malindo Air just before 8PM. We decided to hire a private car instead of taking the airport taxi as we figured that it would be cheaper. This soon proved to be a mistake as the driver had decided to charge us more than what was agreed on because he 'took the wrong way' and had to make a 'long' u-turn. Yep, we got conned in less than an hour after stepping foot in Bali. I had chosen for us to stay in Sanur because the boat that leads us to our second destination departs from Sanur beach. D'Joemah Nadja Homestay, a gem of a place that is tucked away from the hectic streets of Sanur. I fell in love with it's tranquility and homey feel as soon as I stepped foot in it's premises. The place isn't very big, but that is what made it so significant I feel. It was the little things - the outdoor dining space, the garden and mini pool, the quaint little reading space... We didn't have any complaints regarding our room either. To be honest, we were caught off guard at how pleasant the place was.

It was pouring rather heavily that night, and with no halal food in sight, we settled for KFC (most of the big fast food chains are halal) across the street. Unlike Kuta, Sanur is more laid-back and serene, but that could also be because we didn't stay at the central of Sanur. After we filled our stomachs, we went to get some necessities at the mart before retiring for the night.

9th May 2016

We woke up later than we meant to and only had a few minutes to wash up before they stop serving breakfast. The staff was however very accommodating and courteous despite us showing up at the dining space five minutes before breakfast supposedly ended. The breakfast menu consisted of a few choices, but we settled for toast and scrambled eggs aka the halal choice. Oh, and did I mention how much beautiful the homestay is in the morning? Once we were done devouring our breakfast and savoring the charisma of our homestay, we decided to take a walk to the central of Sanur.

The walk took us about twenty minutes. We spent hours walking around aimlessly down different streets and alleyways, unearthing secret havens and random places without the help of a map. The type of tourists you see in Sanur and in Kuta are thoroughly disparate - the laid-back nature of Sanur seems to attract families rather than the common rambunctious crowd you'll come across in Kuta. After chartering around almost the whole central of Sanur, we decided to stop for lunch. Scouting for halal food was harder than we presumed. We walked around for another good one hour before deciding to dine at one of the many seafood warungs along Semawang beach. We shared a portion of mahi-mahi fillet which was served with rice, two different kinds of sambal, and some vegetables. The fish was delicious especially when eaten with the sambal. One of the things that I absolutely love about Indonesia is their sambal!

My husband and I explored Sanur on foot a bit more before deciding to take a cab to Kuta. Kuta was like a whole different world. If you come to Kuta expecting culture, temples, and quiet beaches, then you will be thoroughly disappointed. It is clamorous, crowded, with bars and tourists attractions left, right, and centre. The streets are filled with drunken half-naked foreigners who don't think twice about tossing their trash on the ground, and screaming out profanities to everyone and/or anyone they pass by on the street. Combine this with a ceaseless collection of western fast food chains, clothing shops, and street vendors selling t-shirts that read "Suck It or Leave", "You're a Homo", "Up The Bum, No Babies", and the likes. It is really easy to forget that you are actually in beautiful Indonesia when in Kuta.

A big part of me feels sorry for the Balinese locals who are forced to watch their home fall into disarray. And because they have families to feed, they have no choice but to stoop down to a somewhat infantile level and fill their shops with profanity t-shirts and wooden penises. These items are obviously highly sought after because why else would the locals be selling all these nonsense? Opinions may differ, but I feel that Kuta is the poster child of tourism gone wrong. It is upsetting to know that this small piece of paradise have turned into a booze, drugs and sex playground for many. If you are into partying and the nightlife scene, then Kuta may be for you. But it is definitely not for my husband and I. The constant obstacle course to avoid all the unnecessary commotions gets tiring after a while.

So why did I decide to go to Kuta in the first place? Because I wanted to show my husband the other side of Bali. Because I wanted to see how much have changed since my two previous Bali trips. And also because we needed to find a place to pray, and I was certain we could find one in Kuta.

Before the night got darker, and the parties got wilder, we hailed a cab to Jimbaran. I've heard and read so much about the infamous beach side candle-lit dinner over at Jimbaran, and I didn't want to miss the chance to experience it myself this time. Our cab driver had offered to wait for us, and send us home once we were done with dinner (for a little extra $$$), and I'm glad we decided to take up on that offer because getting a cab at night over at Jimbaran isn't exactly easy. We requested for our driver to take us to a halal restaurant and he took us to Jukung Bali Seafood. They had a really stunning and romantic setting by the waves. We unfortunately missed the sunset, but the view was still spectacular nonetheless. The only drawback was that the food was profoundly overpriced, but we were already expecting this - we knew that at Jimbaran Bay, it is not just about the food, but it is more about the luxurious experience of dining on the beach. We settled for one of the set menus which consisted of a variety of seafood such as lobster, fish, squid, clams, and king prawns. These were served with a pot of rice, a vegetable dish, soup, two drinks, and also fruits for dessert.

Hafiz and I enjoyed our dinner so much that we cleaned the whole seafood platter up. The clams and lobster were our favorites. There was a live band going around from table to table whilst we were enjoying our dessert. Although they were quite the entertainers, they sort of pressure people (especially tourists of course) to tip them. They didn't really give us choice when they shoved their tipping hat in our faces. For the most part, it was a wonderful experience that we'd recommend to those who don't mind spending a little. We had a boat to catch early in the morning hence we went back straight to our homestay after out little feast.

Travelling Tips

• Book your tickets and accommodations early. The earlier you book, the less you spend.
• Change your money beforehand. If you decide to change your money in a foreign country, make sure you recount the money given to you on the spot so you don't get cheated on.
• Activate your ATM card for overseas use. This is good for emergencies!
• Master the art of bargaining. Most places in Indonesia have 'local prices' and 'tourist prices'.
• If you can't find halal food in Bali, opt for fast food chains like McDonald's, KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, etc. They're all halal.
• If you plan on using public transportations, research the prices beforehand so you'll know how much is too much.
• When you take a cab, make sure your driver uses the meter.

The Mommy Life

Slightly less than a year ago, I was faced with the dilemma of not knowing what to do with my life after I had my son. I had approached a crossroad and needed to make a decision on what kind of role I would play as the mother of my child - would I be a working mom who would continue to provide for my family and further advance my career, or would I stay at home and be a full time care provider? I had worked hard to get where I was... would I really just throw it all away? No I wouldn't... or so I thought.

After eight love-soaked weeks with my newborn son, I knew it was going to be difficult going back to work. Come to think of it, difficult is an understatement. In between shoots, I was constantly asking my mother for baby updates, secretly praying I wouldn't miss anything major. On the days that I had to work late (which was most days to be honest), I was haunted by an overwhelming sense of guilt. But I kept assuring myself that this was all for my boy, and his future. Every time I head to the office, I leave a piece of my heart at home. And eventually, I just simply lost interest in my AM to PM job. It took me six months to make the decision of wanting to become a stay-at-home mom. My son was growing so fast and learning new things everyday, and I didn't want to miss any more of that.

I want to be the one who puts him down for his naps in the afternoon, feeds him his meals, holds him when he is sick, teaches the little guy things that are still foreign and unbeknownst to him. I wanted (and still want to) be the first one to witness all his firsts. I am aware that parents who work full time can do many of these things, but I want to do these things at any time of the day - morning, noon, and/or night. I want to do it all, not out of a sense of pride, but out of pure love. I want to be with my son, and I want him to be with me.

It's been four months since I chose to be with my son full-time, and I've learnt a couple of things since then. Contrary to popular belief, no, stay-at-home moms do not have a ton of time to kill. Though mostly great, the transition hasn't been without some setbacks. As it turns out, being at home isn't as easy as it looks. While taking care of my child is my main priority, my duty is also to prevent the house from falling apart. Living in a house with eight other occupants, with my mom and I being the only girls, and no help, our days are considerably hectic to say the least. We cook, we clean, we run errands, we clean some more... I give credit where credit is due, and my mom deserves most, if not all, of the credit at keeping our home and family together. I can only wish to be half as good of a wife and mother as she is. Anyways, I feel that I need to put this out there because I'm tired of people thinking that I'm living the life of an empress, and do nothing but hang around with my kid at home.

I have officially become an expert on something. I am an expert on my child. I previously thought I knew everything there is to know about my son, and raising him, but lets face it - it is difficult to become an expert on your child when you are gone most of the time. You can catch up a little bit on the evenings and weekends, but it is not easy to actually be an expert on your children when you are not fully engaged in their lives. Cultivating parenting and home-management skills is satisfying in ways I never expected, especially since I never saw myself as the homemaker type. If ever I begin to mourn the loss of skills and opportunities in the workplace, I remind myself of how much I have learnt, the skills that I have established as a mom and wife, and the benefits that have been to me, my family, and others.

The wondrous thing about staying at home is that you have the best job security in the world. No one can replace you, unlike the ever-expandable corporate world. The fact is, there is only one mom and one dad. There are a million and one ways that you can mess up, but you will always be the parent of your children. You can't change that, they can't change that, nobody can change that. I used to think that being praised for a job well done by my boss and/or colleagues was great, but nothing beats the feeling of being told that I am doing a tremendous job at taking care of my son. I had previously invested my energy and time in things, the success of a company, and the success of myself, and it felt really good and satisfying. But it is not the same as investing in people, in my family, in relationships, and in my child. Investing in my child by raising him to be a strong and decent human being will not only benefit the future of our family, but also the future of our society, God willing.

Staying at home does not mean you don't do anything except things that revolve around your child. By making the choice to leave my career, I am now able to fully focus in building and flourishing my own clothing label. Due to certain commitments with my previous job, I wasn't able to do so. Staying at home means that I am free to spend time, not only to care for my son and family, but also to pursue personal interests and dreams outside the pressures of a job. It feels good to be doing something that fits into my life instead of fitting my life around something.

The most crucial thing I have come to learn is that raising children is not all about you anymore - it's not about what you get in return, it's not about your success, it's not about your self-esteem, it's not about your material achievements. It's about loving, nurturing, and doing for others. It's about building your empire of memories and treasures that will never fade. I made some huge sacrifices when I left my full-time job, no doubt about that, but those sacrifices were either material or focused on the self. The past few months has pushed me to change my notion about my life and my choices - that what is most important is not my professional success and the accolades that come with it, but the people in my life, my family, who I am, not only as a mom, but also as a woman - not what I do or produce in the professional world. My decision most definitely came with a cost, but it also comes with incredible and lasting benefits. 

Route to Happiness

I had recently just resigned from my full-time job as a stylist at a well-renowned e-commerce company - something I'd never thought I'd do so soon. There were several aspects that had contributed to my decision - most of them revolving around my state of mind, and my world that is my son.

When I first started working at the company, it was still relatively small. There were just a handful of us, and the amount of workload was still manageable for our small team. But within the two years that I was working there, the company grew at a rapid pace. With our team barely expanding, that meant more work for us. And more work meant more hours spent at the office, and less time to do just about anything else. About halfway through that two-year journey, I gained a son, hence more hours spent at the office also meant less chance I get to see my kid grow up. You see, I have always envisioned myself as a career-driven woman even as and/or when I have children of my own. I was caught off-guard at how much of a dilemma I was left in when my maternity leave was over. Leaving your child at home for the majority of your day isn't as easy as I presumed it would be.

After months of contemplation and going back and forth, I finally decided that I need to find other career options - one that will allow me to pursue my passion, yet still have plenty of time with my son.

"Why don't you just start that clothing line you've always wanted?" Hafiz.
"Hmm.. I don't think I'm ready for that." Me.
"Why? What's stopping you?" Hafiz.
"... I don't know." Me.
"Just do it. I'll help you." Hafiz.

And so with a little bit of push from my husband, we did it. If I hadn't started it then, I don't know if I ever will, to be honest. In the words of my husband, "Don't think too much about it. Just do it.". In relation to that - this year's resolution is to kick self-doubt right in the butt.

Thus, the birth of Monokerom.

I am eminently aware that creating my own brand from scratch isn't a simple task, and success won't come knocking on my door overnight - but now that I have left my full-time job, I have no choice but to aim and work for prosperity. For my son, my husband, and of course myself. Oh, and my traveling fund too (ha ha just kidding... maybe). Good motivation, no? Coming up with the brand image wasn't too difficult, as I already knew which direction I was gonna take. What was hard, is hard, is the fact that I do not have any designing background, hence no illustration skills, no draping skills, and no sewing skills. But it's okay because when there is a will, there is a way. All I've got to do is just believe in myself. That, and work exceptionally hard.

I am both excited and nervous for what's to come. Let's hope this will really lead me to the route of my happiness.

My Labor Story (Part III)

5.00PM - ARRGGHHH. Pain level - 1049348329394. My contractions were more frequent now, and every time one comes, I would be shaking in pain. "The baby must be coming soon.", I thought to myself. The doctor came in once again to check my dilation. Yes, this could be it. Yes. Yes.

Five centimeters. You've got to be kidding me.

I was puzzled. Dumbfounded. Dismayed. More than anything, I was speechless. My journey was no where near the end, and I could hardly withstand the pain any longer. When the doctor went out, I started to cry. I wanted the pain to end so badly, but at the same time I wanted to proof that I can be strong like all the other moms, and have a drug-free natural birth. And, so I continue to toughen it out. Hafiz and my mom tried their best to keep me sane and calm.

6.00PM - The pain was getting stronger, and stronger, and it left me feeling like a month-old mushy and rotten vegetable. My cheeks were stained with my tears, and my hands were sore from gripping on to the handles of my bed. In the end, my mom and husband had manage to persuade me to take the epidural. Honestly, I was disappointed with myself because of that, but I just couldn't handle the pain any longer. My fear of needles disappeared that evening - I just wanted to be free of the pain of my contractions. Within a few minutes of having a needle stuck into my spine, I felt relieved of the pain that had been aggravating me for the past few hours. I couldn't help but to think - "Why didn't I take the epidural sooner?!". I was in and out of slumber after that.

7.30PM - I felt a sense of joy watching the levels of my contractions on the machine going sky high, but here I am barely feeling anything. Dilation - six centimeters. This boy of mine is really taking his time. "By the looks of it, the baby could either come tonight or tomorrow. We'll see which one he chooses." said my doctor. Any nervousness I had of giving birth was gone by now. I was basically too tired to feel anything at this point. My temperature still hadn't subside despite already being given medication, so the nurses had to add a dose of antibiotics into my already drugged self. Mom told me that my dad and brothers are in the waiting room rooting for me, and that made me feel so much joy.

My fever was really draining my energy. I wasn't exactly allowed to have heavy meals, hence I survived on dates and Ribena.

9.00PM - Seven centimeters. The nurse had to insert a tube in my lady parts to empty my bladder. It was the longest and awkwardest thirty seconds of my life. Need I remind you that both my mom and husband were there in the room which meaaaans they could hear every drop of pee being drained out of my body. Awkward is an understatement, actually. Mom, Hafiz, and I were getting really restless and tired. Bless the two - despite so, they never left my side even for a second.

And again, we wait. Will this baby ever come out?!

10.30PM - Eight centimeters - woohoo! My doctor proceeded to manually break my water. I didn't feel any pain when this was done. It was more of a pressure-like sensation. Even though I was already on epidural, I started to feel the strain of my contractions again. Checked my contraction levels, and it was shooting upwards. No wonder. "The baby should be out in no time. Get yourself ready, I'll see you in a bit ya?", said my doctor joyfully. How do I get myself ready to have a baby come out of my vagina?! Deep breaths, fuh fuh. Mom continued giving me back rubs to ease the pain, whilst Hafiz tried to reenergize me with more dates and Ribena. Honestly, the fact that my life was going to go through a 180 degrees change after tonight hadn't really sunk in. Heck, I hadn't fully digested that I was carrying a baby inside me to begin with.

So so tired, and so so ready to push.

11.30PM - "OK Iman, you're ready to go!", said my doctor whilst putting on her rubber gloves. Wait, what?! And suddenly things were moving almost too rapidly - everyone was moving faster, talking faster, everything faster. The nurses had propped my legs up, and I abruptly felt the need to push. There were about eight people other than myself in the labor room at this moment. Eight people were going to see me give birth. Eight people were going to have front row seats to watch my baby come out of my lady parts. To be honest, I was more nervous about having various people see my hoo-haa more than I was about actually giving birth. But when the time came, I didn't give it a second thought. My mom, my husband, and the nurses were like my personal cheerleaders - enthusiastically cheering on every single time I pushed.

"Push, push, yes, push!"
"Just a little bit more, sayang!"
"Yes, that's the way, good girl!"
"Puuuuuuush. You can do it!"

What was going on in my head the whole time? "Don't lift up your butt, don't lift up your butt..". A few people had advised me not to do so if I didn't want my vagina to be torn all the way to my anus. Of course I didn't want that, hence the chant.

I pushed about six times before the doctor said, "I can see the head now. Just a few more pushes!". My husband was the most zealous one in the room which was quite surprising as he doesn't handle blood and all things gory too well. He was walking back and forth, from standing next to me to trying to get a good look at his son. I kept hearing him say, "I see him! I see him!" and "This is so amazing!".

11.45PM - I had to push three more times before I finally heard my baby's cry. The feeling of hearing my baby's voice for the first time was profoundly surreal. The only thing more beautiful than that was seeing my baby for the first time. And when they first put him into my arms for body-to-body contact... /cries. I am tearing up just thinking about it. I couldn't stop thanking Allah for this graceful miracle. After the short time I had to welcome my son into the world, the nurses took him once again to get him cleaned up. My mom and husband followed the baby wherever he went. I on the other hand had to continue my battle, and push my placenta out. Unlike the baby, the placenta only required a single push. The doctor then proceeded to stitch me up. Despite feeling rather numb down there, I could feel the needle going in and out of my lady parts. And there I find myself thanking the person who invented epidural. My ever calm doctor seemed to be enjoying herself though - taking her time to gently stitch me up. She kind of looked like she was knitting a sweater.

My husband came back soon after, and I've never seen him look happier. His eyes were glowing and he had this massive smile plastered across his face. He couldn't stop talking about our son. One of the nurses then came in with our bundle of joy all wrapped up like a little eskimo. He was sucking on his thumb when the nurse gave him to me, hence she suggested that I try feeding him. The little genius instantly knew what to do, masyaAllah.

It's funny really, I thought I knew all there is to know about love and/or loving another person, but then I had a child - and I realized that I didn't know anything about love. I had underestimated how great and infinite one's love to another can be. My son redefined the meaning of love for me.

So that is it. That is my labor story.