Being a SAHM, and Dressing Up

Being a stay-at-home mom means that I don't get as many chances to dress up as I used to. I'm not implying that my son's existence inhibits me from doing so. It is merely because the number of times I step out into the outside world has significantly declined since I resigned from my AM to PM job. It's one of the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom - feeling like you never leave the house. It feels almost like a hermetic existence. It's not that I'm unable to go out, it's just that there's simply no one to meet on weekdays - I'm already at that age where most, if not all, of my friends are already employed and settled down. There are the rare days where I get to go out for some much needed adult company with friends who are between jobs, but other than that it's usually just my little dude and I during the day. 

"Why don't you just go out with your son?" Yeah, I can do that. But a two year old is not that good of a company when you want to do adult things like grab a cup of overpriced coffee at your favourite cafe, watch an action-packed movie in the cinema (or any movie for that matter), or window shop for things you desire but probably can't afford. I'd honestly rather just stay at home where we can read books, play treasure hunt, and color, when it's just the two of us. And when I do go out on weekdays, it's usually for a quick run to the supermarket, a trip to the post office, or for little dude's weekly gym sessions. 

So it is without a doubt that I eagerly look forward to the weekend every week because it means that I get to go out, and wear extra nice clothes! I would usually pre-coordinate my outfits whether we have any particular plans for the weekend or not. It's a cheap thrill that I like to honor myself with.

Duck scarf

H&M long-sleeved top

Thrifted camisole

FV Basics boyfriend jeans

Nike sneakers

____

On another note, I don't believe being a stay-at-home mom gives you a reason to let yourself go altogether. Now, I'm not saying that we have to become Stepford housewives who always have perfect hair, perfect make up, and who wear dresses and five-inch heels to mop the floor. I'm saying that we have to take pride in our appearance no matter what. I feel that it's so easy for a stay-at-home mom to get lost in being someone's mom, and forget that they are an individual woman first and foremost. I have found that if I get dressed and look presentable instead of looking like I just rolled out of bed, I feel better about myself - I feel more motivated to do stuff and don't feel quite so home-bound. I don't dress up to the core or anything like that at home. It's more of a thing between dressed and lounge clothes - a happy medium, a certain level of smart casual. I have also recently developed an interest towards make-up (I'm a late bloomer, I know) so there are some days where I will do a quick and light fix up even if I am just staying at home. 

Taking care of yourself and your appearance is emotionally boosting and does wonders on your self-esteem. You breathe life back into yourself again, and are almost instantly reminded that yes, you are a mother, but that's not all that you are. And as a result, your kid(s) will get a more positive you, so it's a win-win situation!

PS, if you're a stay-at-home mom and desperately need some adult company, holla at me! Kidding. Actually no, I'm not.

2017

And there you have it, another year has left us all. The ludicrous rapidity of time has left me bewildered once more. Oh 2016, what do I have to say about you... You were not the best of years, and you certainly were not the worst. Some days you lifted me up so high that I could barely see the ground below. Some days you left me weakened after viciously sucking every inch of air out of my helpless body. Some days I was just floating through between the good and bad - feeling like I'm not making much of a difference in this fast pacing world that we are living in. 

With that said however, I am grateful for a manifold of things. The past year had been primarily revolved around family, and that is something that I am immensely thankful for. I am also thankful that I got to direct my full attention and focus on building my brand, Monokerom. Although it has been a tough and somewhat slow journey, with hard work and dedication, it has turned out to be a fruitful one. And of course I am grateful for my little dude, and being able to witness him grow from a squiggly baby to a toddler who is akin to an Energizer bunny.

Okay, lets talk resolutions. Every year I fall victim to making a list of resolutions with promises of "sticking to it this year". I don't necessarily follow through every single resolution (gotta work on that), but I still enjoy preparing new ones every year, and try to have the most fun in getting them achieved. I believe that resolutions should be helpful stepping stones in creating you into a stronger and wiser self, not a do or die situation that makes you feel guilty if not reached. Set yourself up for success, and have fun no matter what - you don't have to take life so seriously all the time. Make a conscious effort to be happy no matter the obstacle you are faced with in the present or the future. To be honest, I am saying all this as a reminder for my own self. I need to constantly keep these words fresh in my head as fuel to keep me going because otherwise, I'd be running back into my little protective cocoon the first chance I get!

Below are some resolutions that I have come up for myself;

#1 Focus on what I have, instead of on what I don't
I am guilty of perpetually focusing more on what I don't have rather than the innumerable amount of things that I am already blessed with. More often than not, this would in turn affect my spirits negatively. The more we focus on what we don't have, the more deprived we feel. It is merely impossible to feel fulfilled if you keep focusing on what you lack. So this year I hope to realise what I have, appreciate it, and take care of it. I choose to constantly be thankful and smile about what I have instead of frowning about what I don't. I may not have the best of everything, but with God's blessings I have more than what most people do - a roof over my head, food on the table, and supportive people all around me. 

#2 Eat healthier and exercise regularly
By eating healthier, I don't just mean add an extra portion of vegetables onto my plate (if there are any veggies there in the first place - yuck), and by exercising regularly, I don't just mean performing a fifteen-minute workout routine three times a week at home. I'm talking less junk food, less sugar intake (this is going to be the hardest!), less oily cuisines, and drink more water. I also hope to start running again this year - no more excuses. Can't remember the last time I ran or why I even stopped, to be honest. I used to love it so much, and now I don't even know where my running shoes are. It's time to get back in the game!

#3 Learn a third language
I am actually in the midst of teaching myself Japanese. I have yet to master the language enough to have a full-fledged conversation, but I'm getting there!

#4 Have more adventures
This one speaks for itself, and has an essentially permanent spot on my annual resolutions list. These adventures can be in the form of anything and everything. To me adventures are anything that propose excitement with a light layer of fear. Things that push our boundaries, and force us to grow in one way or another. They can be fun, scary, and maybe even hard work. So this year once again, I vow to have more adventures which includes travelling, new work ventures, and being open to change and the unfamiliar. There are so many things that I want to do, and so many places that I want to go. From this point onwards, I'm viewing everything as an adventure waiting to be experienced.

#5 Cultivate and strengthen Monokerom (+ new project)
Needless to say, Monokerom is no where near the finish line. In fact, this is only the beginning for us. There are still a multitude of things that we want to achieve, and to share with the world. With that said, I'm also hoping to start on a new project that have been on my mind for eons. So here's to another year of more creating, art, and passion!