Journey To Getting Hitched (Part I)

I remember very clearly telling my mom that I don't want to get married before 27 and/or before getting my career on track. My mom let out a little laugh and said, "Yeah, right. When you meet the right guy, you will be the one begging me to marry you off." Obviously I thought my mom was being nonsensical. I wasn't even a believer of love back then. It's either my mom secretly possess the ability to see the future, or she knows me a little bit too well because as it turned out, what she predicted was right on the dot. Well, I didn't beg, but... you know what I mean.

I don't know what happened, how it happened, but it did. And I couldn't be happier.

My now husband made his intentions of marrying me very clear right from the beginning of our relationship. Of course I thought he was just pulling my strings what with him knowing how big of a commitment-phobe I was at the time. I realized his marriage talks and hints were all serious after he shared them with my mom. Even so, I still remained calm as I knew that that chapter of my life is still a gazillion miles away - especially after my dad had made it clear that marriage is totally out of the picture until both Hafiz and I graduate, and land ourselves stable jobs. However, a few months and an epiphany later, with a 1/2 don't-take-me-seriously, and a 1/2 no-actually-I-am-being-serious face, he nonchalantly suggests that I get married next year (this was sometime in September '13). When I told Hafiz of my dad's sudden and unforeseen suggestion, I could see fireworks going off in that head of his. If he could marry me right then and there, he probably would.

I don't quite remember how I got comfortable with the whole idea of marriage, but it was around the time when my dad asked me the two questions that kept haunting me in the AMs - "Do you see yourself with anyone else? If the answer's no, then why wait if you can do it now?". He has a very good point there right? Why wait and pile on the sins, when you can make it halal and get rewards for even the simplest of acts? And so I agreed - but not after asking both my dad and Hafiz a million and one questions. Who's going to support us financially? Where are we going to live? What about my studies? What am I gonna feed you if I can't cook? But the two of them never fail to assure me that everything will be alright if I just put all my trust in the Almighty. When I gave my dad the thumbs up, I could see that he was having trouble processing it - as if he couldn't believe that his one and only daughter, the rebellious one out of the whole lot, has agreed to settle down. He kept asking me if I was being serious, and/or if I was actually ready. Well, I was serious, but I wasn't sure if I was ready.

Without a doubt, my dad could sense that I wasn't ready. Hence, before anything was proceeded with, my parents and I had a myriad of serious (and slightly awkward) talks. Talks that involved a lot of questions, interrogations, heart-to-hearts, feelings, and tears. Alongside with making sure that I'm making the right decision, they wanted me to know what I'm getting myself into - they explained to me about the side of marriage that are hardly ever portrayed in the movies I watch, and the books I read. After about a whole month of this, my dad decided that it was time for him to have a man-to-man talk with Hafiz.

(To be continued...)

VM Noobie

After three months of scrambling from one window to another, I am finally done with my second internship. Phew. The ninety days of me being a visual merchandising intern was by far the most tiring period of my life. Five pair of hands, twenty-eight stores, seven states -- could I be blamed? With that said however, I did enjoy my short stint working under the well-renowned spanish fashion house. Before I was in fashion school, I didn't know how very much important visual merchandisers are to the industry. I previously thought that the mannequins were handled by the store promoters -- and by handled I mean, the changing of the garments, and only that. Needless to say, I was unaware that the lighting, props, position of the mannequins, are usually meticulously planned by a group of people known as visual merchandisers.

Intrigued by the subject, I had decided to entertain my engrossment by getting some hands-on experience. Truth be told, I had underestimated the workload of a visual merchandiser by a mile despite already knowing what their tasks and duties are. During my time at the company, I had changed nothing less than thirty windows. Every two weeks or so, we will be given dossiers and garment lists by the company's headquarter in Spain, and are expected to change the whole look of the windows according to the two lists. A typical working day for us would sound something like this:-

1. Select garments based on garment list.
2. Iron and/or steam garments to perfection.
3. Untie and undress mannequins.
4. Disable and remove previous window props, flooring, stickers.
5. Assemble new flooring, and props.
6. Dress mannequins, and position them accordingly.
7. Locate and place additional accessories.
8. Apply stickers onto the windows.
9. Prepare price lists for window display.

Believe me, it isn't as easy as it sounds. Especially when you are constantly being pressured by time, and have to change the look of two to three windows by yourself (if you're lucky, with a partner). I didn't expect to be on all fours and get both my hands dirty working as a visual merchandiser -- like I've mentioned before fashion is not all about 'lights, camera and action'. I felt like a contractor, a decorator, a stylist, and more. Did I mention the crazy working hours? The earliest I had to be on the go was at 7.30AM, and the latest I had to stay on was until 1AM. In more ways than one, I did enjoy the job. I liked how I was almost always never in the office, and always on the move from one place to another, traveling from one state to another. I liked how I was able to put my sense of creativity into good use. The job was exhausting, but never boring. The sole reason why I had to turn the company's job offer down was because I couldn't afford to travel so much given my decision to settle down.

Bigger things await, insyaAllah.

Eternal Freedom

Ever since I could remember, it has been a dream of mine to dedicate a portion of my life abroad. With that said, I had always seen my education as my ticket to see the world (or at least a part of it). My pre-pubescent self had spent many hours building castles in the air, visualizing myself in somewhere foreign. An institution that leaves us in awe with it's architectural splendor, old vintage halls with high ceilings, spacious green lawns, etc. I can imagine it all too well -- myself settled on the greens accompanied by a book, the cold wind brushing against my skin and blowing my carefully placed hijab out of place, and surrounding me is the sound of blissful laughter from a myriad of unfamiliar faces. As I grew into my teens, I watched my relatives, one by one leaving the country for another. I was green with jealousy and it took all I had not to squeeze myself into their luggage. The shade of green that engulfed me turned darker as I witnessed my own friends boarding planes en route to the other side of the globe.

"When will it be my turn?"

There were a few occasions when I thought that my turn to leave the motherland had finally arrived, only to be bitterly disappointed soon after. And as time passed, I could feel my dream slowly freeing itself from my grip. Instead of a dream, it had become somewhat of a fantasy. Something simultaneous to me being a mermaid or having the ability to converse with elephants -- impossible and only alive in my mind.

It's not really about furthering my studies abroad, it's more about having a new start. It's about the sense of escape that comes along with it. It's about freedom. But, as I grow older, it dawned on me -- perhaps my 'freedom' is not elsewhere. Perhaps my 'freedom' is right here where I have lived all my life. Perhaps my 'freedom' is doing what I love. Yes, that's it.

Freedom is doing what I love.

I don't need to pack my bags and run from everything and everyone that I am familiar with. What is the point of attaining freedom abroad if it is going to be temporary anyways (degree = three years tops)? Hence, my new dream is to achieve eternal freedom -- doing what I love, when I want to, and how I want to. And who's to say that my work won't land me in another country (/ countries?) in the future? I will make a name for myself and I will be able to see the world. Because if God willing, nothing is impossible. Nothing.