Being a SAHM, and Dressing Up

Being a stay-at-home mom means that I don't get as many chances to dress up as I used to. I'm not implying that my son's existence inhibits me from doing so. It is merely because the number of times I step out into the outside world has significantly declined since I resigned from my AM to PM job. It's one of the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom - feeling like you never leave the house. It feels almost like a hermetic existence. It's not that I'm unable to go out, it's just that there's simply no one to meet on weekdays - I'm already at that age where most, if not all, of my friends are already employed and settled down. There are the rare days where I get to go out for some much needed adult company with friends who are between jobs, but other than that it's usually just my little dude and I during the day. 

"Why don't you just go out with your son?" Yeah, I can do that. But a two year old is not that good of a company when you want to do adult things like grab a cup of overpriced coffee at your favourite cafe, watch an action-packed movie in the cinema (or any movie for that matter), or window shop for things you desire but probably can't afford. I'd honestly rather just stay at home where we can read books, play treasure hunt, and color, when it's just the two of us. And when I do go out on weekdays, it's usually for a quick run to the supermarket, a trip to the post office, or for little dude's weekly gym sessions. 

So it is without a doubt that I eagerly look forward to the weekend every week because it means that I get to go out, and wear extra nice clothes! I would usually pre-coordinate my outfits whether we have any particular plans for the weekend or not. It's a cheap thrill that I like to honor myself with.

Duck scarf

H&M long-sleeved top

Thrifted camisole

FV Basics boyfriend jeans

Nike sneakers

____

On another note, I don't believe being a stay-at-home mom gives you a reason to let yourself go altogether. Now, I'm not saying that we have to become Stepford housewives who always have perfect hair, perfect make up, and who wear dresses and five-inch heels to mop the floor. I'm saying that we have to take pride in our appearance no matter what. I feel that it's so easy for a stay-at-home mom to get lost in being someone's mom, and forget that they are an individual woman first and foremost. I have found that if I get dressed and look presentable instead of looking like I just rolled out of bed, I feel better about myself - I feel more motivated to do stuff and don't feel quite so home-bound. I don't dress up to the core or anything like that at home. It's more of a thing between dressed and lounge clothes - a happy medium, a certain level of smart casual. I have also recently developed an interest towards make-up (I'm a late bloomer, I know) so there are some days where I will do a quick and light fix up even if I am just staying at home. 

Taking care of yourself and your appearance is emotionally boosting and does wonders on your self-esteem. You breathe life back into yourself again, and are almost instantly reminded that yes, you are a mother, but that's not all that you are. And as a result, your kid(s) will get a more positive you, so it's a win-win situation!

PS, if you're a stay-at-home mom and desperately need some adult company, holla at me! Kidding. Actually no, I'm not.

Route to Happiness

I had recently just resigned from my full-time job as a stylist at a well-renowned e-commerce company - something I'd never thought I'd do so soon. There were several aspects that had contributed to my decision - most of them revolving around my state of mind, and my world that is my son.

When I first started working at the company, it was still relatively small. There were just a handful of us, and the amount of workload was still manageable for our small team. But within the two years that I was working there, the company grew at a rapid pace. With our team barely expanding, that meant more work for us. And more work meant more hours spent at the office, and less time to do just about anything else. About halfway through that two-year journey, I gained a son, hence more hours spent at the office also meant less chance I get to see my kid grow up. You see, I have always envisioned myself as a career-driven woman even as and/or when I have children of my own. I was caught off-guard at how much of a dilemma I was left in when my maternity leave was over. Leaving your child at home for the majority of your day isn't as easy as I presumed it would be.

After months of contemplation and going back and forth, I finally decided that I need to find other career options - one that will allow me to pursue my passion, yet still have plenty of time with my son.

"Why don't you just start that clothing line you've always wanted?" Hafiz.
"Hmm.. I don't think I'm ready for that." Me.
"Why? What's stopping you?" Hafiz.
"... I don't know." Me.
"Just do it. I'll help you." Hafiz.

And so with a little bit of push from my husband, we did it. If I hadn't started it then, I don't know if I ever will, to be honest. In the words of my husband, "Don't think too much about it. Just do it.". In relation to that - this year's resolution is to kick self-doubt right in the butt.

Thus, the birth of Monokerom.

I am eminently aware that creating my own brand from scratch isn't a simple task, and success won't come knocking on my door overnight - but now that I have left my full-time job, I have no choice but to aim and work for prosperity. For my son, my husband, and of course myself. Oh, and my traveling fund too (ha ha just kidding... maybe). Good motivation, no? Coming up with the brand image wasn't too difficult, as I already knew which direction I was gonna take. What was hard, is hard, is the fact that I do not have any designing background, hence no illustration skills, no draping skills, and no sewing skills. But it's okay because when there is a will, there is a way. All I've got to do is just believe in myself. That, and work exceptionally hard.

I am both excited and nervous for what's to come. Let's hope this will really lead me to the route of my happiness.

Monochrome

Cotton On striped dress

Cotton On denim jacket

Charles and Keith shoes

____

When one opens the doors to my closet(s), they would instantly notice the lack of color amongst the chaotic mess. Black, white, grey, army green, black, more black, etc. No, I am not one of those who obsesses over the coordination of colors of my wardrobe, nor am I the type of person who chooses to wear only a certain amount of colors. It is all unintentional and by pure chance. As a matter of fact, I hadn't realized my penchant for monochromatic colors until a colleague had questioned my choice to suddenly stumble into work in a multicolored tie-dye cardigan. 

On a different note, what you might notice there is my five months baby bump playing peek-a-boo with the world. Still feels surreal that there is another life growing inside of me. All praise to the Almighty. More of that soon.

VM Noobie

After three months of scrambling from one window to another, I am finally done with my second internship. Phew. The ninety days of me being a visual merchandising intern was by far the most tiring period of my life. Five pair of hands, twenty-eight stores, seven states -- could I be blamed? With that said however, I did enjoy my short stint working under the well-renowned spanish fashion house. Before I was in fashion school, I didn't know how very much important visual merchandisers are to the industry. I previously thought that the mannequins were handled by the store promoters -- and by handled I mean, the changing of the garments, and only that. Needless to say, I was unaware that the lighting, props, position of the mannequins, are usually meticulously planned by a group of people known as visual merchandisers.

Intrigued by the subject, I had decided to entertain my engrossment by getting some hands-on experience. Truth be told, I had underestimated the workload of a visual merchandiser by a mile despite already knowing what their tasks and duties are. During my time at the company, I had changed nothing less than thirty windows. Every two weeks or so, we will be given dossiers and garment lists by the company's headquarter in Spain, and are expected to change the whole look of the windows according to the two lists. A typical working day for us would sound something like this:-

1. Select garments based on garment list.
2. Iron and/or steam garments to perfection.
3. Untie and undress mannequins.
4. Disable and remove previous window props, flooring, stickers.
5. Assemble new flooring, and props.
6. Dress mannequins, and position them accordingly.
7. Locate and place additional accessories.
8. Apply stickers onto the windows.
9. Prepare price lists for window display.

Believe me, it isn't as easy as it sounds. Especially when you are constantly being pressured by time, and have to change the look of two to three windows by yourself (if you're lucky, with a partner). I didn't expect to be on all fours and get both my hands dirty working as a visual merchandiser -- like I've mentioned before fashion is not all about 'lights, camera and action'. I felt like a contractor, a decorator, a stylist, and more. Did I mention the crazy working hours? The earliest I had to be on the go was at 7.30AM, and the latest I had to stay on was until 1AM. In more ways than one, I did enjoy the job. I liked how I was almost always never in the office, and always on the move from one place to another, traveling from one state to another. I liked how I was able to put my sense of creativity into good use. The job was exhausting, but never boring. The sole reason why I had to turn the company's job offer down was because I couldn't afford to travel so much given my decision to settle down.

Bigger things await, insyaAllah.