Eternal Freedom

Ever since I could remember, it has been a dream of mine to dedicate a portion of my life abroad. With that said, I had always seen my education as my ticket to see the world (or at least a part of it). My pre-pubescent self had spent many hours building castles in the air, visualizing myself in somewhere foreign. An institution that leaves us in awe with it's architectural splendor, old vintage halls with high ceilings, spacious green lawns, etc. I can imagine it all too well -- myself settled on the greens accompanied by a book, the cold wind brushing against my skin and blowing my carefully placed hijab out of place, and surrounding me is the sound of blissful laughter from a myriad of unfamiliar faces. As I grew into my teens, I watched my relatives, one by one leaving the country for another. I was green with jealousy and it took all I had not to squeeze myself into their luggage. The shade of green that engulfed me turned darker as I witnessed my own friends boarding planes en route to the other side of the globe.

"When will it be my turn?"

There were a few occasions when I thought that my turn to leave the motherland had finally arrived, only to be bitterly disappointed soon after. And as time passed, I could feel my dream slowly freeing itself from my grip. Instead of a dream, it had become somewhat of a fantasy. Something simultaneous to me being a mermaid or having the ability to converse with elephants -- impossible and only alive in my mind.

It's not really about furthering my studies abroad, it's more about having a new start. It's about the sense of escape that comes along with it. It's about freedom. But, as I grow older, it dawned on me -- perhaps my 'freedom' is not elsewhere. Perhaps my 'freedom' is right here where I have lived all my life. Perhaps my 'freedom' is doing what I love. Yes, that's it.

Freedom is doing what I love.

I don't need to pack my bags and run from everything and everyone that I am familiar with. What is the point of attaining freedom abroad if it is going to be temporary anyways (degree = three years tops)? Hence, my new dream is to achieve eternal freedom -- doing what I love, when I want to, and how I want to. And who's to say that my work won't land me in another country (/ countries?) in the future? I will make a name for myself and I will be able to see the world. Because if God willing, nothing is impossible. Nothing.