I Choose Fashion

People who do not have any relations to the fashion industry and/or who regard clothing merely as items that are used to cover their exposed bodies, often have misconceptions about us who are passionate and vehement about fashion. Pursuing such passion into a career is somewhat of a taboo in where I live. 

"Fashion? Hmm, why fashion?"

"Do you think studying fashion would be beneficial for your future?"

"Can you get a job studying that?"

Contrary to popular belief, working in fashion is not as glamorous as the media has painted it to be. It is a highly competitive industry that waits for no one and is a stranger to empathy. To survive in the ever-changing industry, one needs to have a highly ambitious nature and feel a constant need to thrive.

The word 'easy' is not in any fashion school's dictionary, I believe. In my case, as soon as I stepped foot into my school, assignments bombarded me from all directions. Before I delved into the world of fashion, I was a science and business student. It was pretty straight forward back then -- you study, you understand, you remember, you score. In fashion school however, or any art and design course for that matter, your grades and success depend on how well you are able to apply your creativity into your work and think out of the box. And the competition, my goodness.. It's just a never-ending roller coaster ride. To be the top of the class, you have to constantly think of ways to offer something more ingenious than the rest. You don't just compete with your classmates, but you compete with yourself as well. There were times when I felt too overwhelmed to even breathe. However, the feeling of knowing that you aced your subjects after giving your all, is out of this world. A clear result slip makes all the sleepless nights, panic attacks, and breakdowns worth it. It is true that the results you get is a mirrored image of the amount of effort you put into your work.

With all that said, I couldn't have picked a better route. I love how unpredictable the fashion world is. I love how nothing in fashion is impossible. I love how each people involved in fashion has their own unique sense of individuality. I love how subjective fashion is. I love the rush and the excitement that comes along with fashion. I love what I'm doing and I feel utterly blessed that I was given the chance to pursue my passion and what I love. 

Because in the end, the most important thing is that I get to spend the rest of my life doing what I love and enjoy.

2013

Like a snake prowling on its prey, it slithered forward with impeccable subtlety. Taking most of us by surprise with its swiftness. And by the time it is within our acknowledgement, it is too late to act. The time is a slick one, no?

I am relieved that 2012 finally came to an end. It was an atrocious year to say the least – a year which eradicated me emotionally, physically and spiritually. And somewhere within that year, I lost myself and became this soulless character. However, the year 2012 did teach me a lot of things especially regarding trust. Trust no one but yourself. Why? Because the ones who I thought cared the most ended up being the ones to destroy me. After many naïve years of wanting to please everyone, I realized that sacrificing my own happiness for people who only ever prioritized themselves is really not worth it. I refuse to be that person again as my tendencies to put others ahead of me often gets taken for granted and in the end it is me who suffers.

Upon the arrival of this new year, I want nothing more but to bury the myriad of formidable memories and to take control of my own happiness. In regards to that, I have come up with a list of resolutions that may assist me in finding myself again.


2013 Resolution
1.     Learn more about my religion, be closer to God and become a better Muslim.
2.     Cleanse my body, soul and mind from all negative auras.
3.     Be more productive, more creative and think outside of the box.
4.     Constantly surround myself with things and/or people I love.
5.     Improve my longboarding skills and master a manifold of tricks. 

Out with the negative, in with the positive. I hope and pray for a pleasant year.

The Roller Coaster

Life I have learnt is a constant roller coaster ride. Sometimes you are at the peak of the track, body taken over by intense adrenaline rushes, head floating amongst the clouds, and at one point you hear and see nothing but a light blue canvas. You feel calm, free and untouchable -- like a bird. Other times you are upside down, nauseas due to the large amount of blood accumulating in a limited amount of space that is your head, feet awkwardly dangling above your body. You feel terror, helpless and solicitous. 

The mental roller coaster I have been on these past few months has been particularly horrendous to say the least. I find myself yearning to escape. With trembling limbs, I try to free myself from the nightmare but with no avail. "Let me out, let me out!", I screamed but no one seemed to have heard my cries for help. There were times when I felt like jumping off, not giving a thought about the chances of it being my sentence for death. Because honestly, what is the difference? I am a soulless walking matter as it is.

But every time I was on the verge of giving up, a light of hope shines on a part of my body. A light that transfuses energy and will power. So I hold on to the seatbelt ever so tightly, take a deep breath, and continue to brave the unpredictable ride. But it's all just a vicious cycle really. The minute you get comfortable at the structure and speed of the ride, the track shifts into a more atrocious one. And the cycle repeats, repeats and repeats.

However, I believe that there is a vindication for every happening. Maybe I was lost in my own world for too long and this is my call for reality. Maybe I was previously too intoxicated in happiness that God thought I've had enough -- time to give other less fortunate people a chance at it. But the mundane ride does have it's positive side as well. For instance, the dreaded falls and horrible loops have managed to shape me into a somewhat stronger person (or at least I'd like to think so) who is more in control of herself. A person who no longer lets anger and frustration take over her body, soul and mind. A person who no longer does the dreaded with the sole reason of rebelling. 

But the greatest blessing behind all these happenings is that, the hardships that I was forced to go through have made me become closer to God. When life chooses to kick me in the most painful spots, I turn to Him and ask Him for His mercy and blessing. I believe that everything has it's reason and my reason happens to be God and with that, I have become more at peace with my fate. I too believe that He has a better and a brighter plan for me in the future and all that is happening now is to prepare me of what's to come. Patience, strength and faith -- that's all I need.

Get It Together!

The blood that flows through these blue veins is pumped violently to the ticker, disrupting the number of times I inhale and exhale the air, making my head a scene of a horrendous explosion -- this happens every time you execute one of your unforeseen plans. You and your never-ending string of surprises never cease to tug the strings of my heart.

My second daisy from my favorite person

Received my results for the previous semester and I can't say that I am pleased. Aced the subject that I was most anxious about and got Bs for the ones that didn't cause me to have panic attacks whenever thoughts of it idly cross my mind. I-freaking-ronic. However I choose to take it positively. I choose to take it as a sign for me to work harder for the remaining semesters that are left of my diploma. I have to find a way to intensify the passion that lives within me in order to actualize the rarest of my rarest dreams. I have to breathe, eat, sleep, and shit work/school. I sure hope this little motivational entry won't end up as another worthless self pep-talk. Get your shit together -- yes, I'm still talking to you, Sunny.

However so, the current semester has somewhat made me less enthusiastic about what I do. Other than History of Costume, it is impossible to put my heart into the work that I'm required to complete. It's like business school all over again -- I do it just for the sake of doing and not for myself. That, needs to end.

I was assigned with a bubbly and philosophical stranger on one of my assignments -- the most fascinating assignment of the semester I would say. We were asked to come up with a blog that is inspired by the ancient period(s). The two of us had decided on focusing on our favorite period, Ancient Greece. And with that, we had created a lifestyle blog -- whatthegreek.blogspot.com -- that features fashion (of course), food, events, DIYs, accompanied by Greek myths. I was jubilant with the end result of the blog assignment. And I hope to God that the presentation was satisfactory in the eyes of my Russian lecturer. She always puts on a nonchalant character and expression during presentations which makes predicting her train of thoughts improbable.

All those research that have been made regarding Ancient Greece has left me obsessed with Greek mythologies and philosophies. And it has too increased my desire to step foot on the land of the Greeks.

"If you want to create something different and unique, you have to invent something." - Ms Agne

Charlie, The Yellow Elephant

After being burdened by the unwanted and carrying the weight of the world and the other remaining planets on my bony shoulders, my thoughtful half had surprised me and took me to the place where we had once gone for one of our first few dates as a couple. The place where I could feel myself slowly slipping into love with the guy who cooked me spaghetti for our little picnic.

The Layang-Layang Park was close to being deserted the last time we were there but this time it was the total opposite. Families, drunken lovebirds and innocent children swamped the greenery and filled it with merriment and laughter. The sky was a panorama of colors what with the myriad of kites floating against the pure white clouds. Bliss.

"Impossible!" I thought when my boyfriend asked me to pick a kite. There were so many to choose from -- different shapes, different sizes, different colors. How does one choose? .. Until my eye caught sight of an enormous yellow elephant kite. Without giving it a second thought, we invested our money in Charlie (yes, we named it of course). The overwhelming crowd however made it difficult for our kite to remain up in the sky. But such satisfaction we felt when Charlie swayed with his other colorful friends even if it lasted a millisecond.

Enervated by all the running and the excruciating heat from the sun, we went to a familiar spot overlooking the lake and relished our ice-cream and popsicle eagerly. 

A slow walk had led us to the tower we had once witnessed the sun set. Missing such empyrean beauty would be an atrocity. With tangled limbs, we waited and did what we do best -- talk. Past, present, future, the real and the unreal. Everything. My heart was at a state of confusion. Sometimes it beat ever so rapidly due to the presence of the one I love and other times I hardly felt it beating, content with the serenity of my surroundings. Just like how I like it -- you, me and nothing else.

Milk + Honey Autumn 2012 Lookbook

I am utterly in love with every single piece of clothing from the "Milk + Honey" Autumn 2012 Lookbook! The Australian based label does the effortless yet chic look ever so brilliantly. From the choice of colors and fabric (I personally favor wool.), over-sized tops, the different styles of layering to the combination of socks with heels. Their choice of model -- Rachel Rutt; is too right on the spot as she is in fact, one of my favorite models of the current time. If only I didn't live in a country that experiences Summer all year round.